Domestic violence is rarely the result of a single factor. Rather, it emerges from a combination of individual, familial, community, and societal influences. What makes the issue particularly alarming is the extent to which it has been normalised. Many women grow up believing that silently enduring abuse is not only expected but also their duty.

 

This silence is not merely a sign of weakness; it is rooted in fear. A major force sustaining this fear is society's judgment. The familiar Kashmiri phrase, "Lukh kya wanan, lukh kya soochan?" (What will people say? What will people think?) has trapped generations of women in violent homes. Ironically, the same society that worries about appearances often remains indifferent to the suffering, humiliation, and trauma experienced by abused women.

 

One must ask: Where does society disappear when a woman is being beaten, threatened, or degraded? Why do people remain silent in the face of such inhumanity?

 

Men have been blessed with physical strength that should serve as a source of protection and security. Unfortunately, in many cases, this strength is misused as a tool of control and intimidation. Traditional gender roles remain deeply entrenched in Kashmiri society, leading some men to believe that strength grants authority and authority permits dominance. This is a betrayal of the very purpose of strength. Strength was meant to shelter, not strike; to protect, not punish.

 

Growing up as a woman in Kashmir often means hearing that patience is a woman's greatest virtue and that family honour rests upon her shoulders. Women are taught that speaking about abuse could damage the family's reputation. Tragically, preserving this so-called "honour" often comes at the cost of women's safety, dignity, and sometimes even their lives.

 

Years of social conditioning compel many women to internalise both abuse and shame. This burden becomes even heavier when religious teachings are misrepresented to justify violence. Women who lack education and awareness about their legal and religious rights are particularly vulnerable. Many quietly convince themselves that suffering is their destiny. Statements such as, "Maybe my life was meant to be this way," or "Women are supposed to endure this," become accepted truths.Click Here To Follow Our WhatsApp Channel

 

Such beliefs do not emerge naturally. They are cultivated through generations of social narratives that glorify female endurance while overlooking female suffering. The common notion that a girl must always remain patient and tolerant often becomes a mechanism through which abuse is normalised.

 

In Kashmir, domestic violence frequently remains invisible because public attention is often directed towards political conflict, security concerns, and economic instability. While these issues undoubtedly require attention, the violence occurring within homes should not be ignored. The focus on external security must not come at the expense of the safety and well-being of women inside their own households.

 

Although legal frameworks exist to protect women, access to justice remains inconsistent, particularly in remote areas. Domestic violence complaints are sometimes dismissed as "family matters." While privacy deserves respect, violence does not. Labelling abuse as a private issue only prolongs suffering and shields perpetrators from accountability.

 

The need of the hour is awareness—not only among women but equally among men. Women must understand that they are not burdens, objects, or lesser beings. They are equal and indispensable members of society. They deserve dignity, safety, and respect.

 

Equally important is the understanding that Islam does not justify abuse. Women must educate themselves about the rights and protections granted to them under Islamic teachings. Marriage is built on compassion, respect, and mutual care—not fear, violence, or domination.

 

Men, too, must be taught that true strength lies in kindness, responsibility, and protection. Women are life partners, not servants or possessions. Respecting women is not a sign of weakness; it is a reflection of character and humanity.

 

Domestic violence must no longer be viewed as a private matter. It is a serious social issue that silently damages families, communities, and future generations. The silence surrounding it must be broken. Women must know that their voices matter and that they are not alone.

 

To every woman who has suffered behind closed doors because of society's unjust norms: You are not to blame. You are not forgotten. It is society that has failed you—not the other way around.

 

The time has come to move beyond the curtains of silence and confront the reality of domestic violence with honesty, compassion, and collective responsibility.

 

By Sidrat Mehraj

Student, M.A. History (Second Year), B.R. Ambedkar University Delhi